My daughter is messy. I mean MESSY as in can’t-stand-to-see-a-clear-surface messy. She’s been that way since she was a baby. This summer she was in full mess-making mode with sewing projects, scrapbooking, painting, photography, etc., etc., etc. And that’s not to mention the laundry, dishes, papers, books, magazines and other things she left everywhere. It seems like every day I said, “the table needs to be cleared off so we can eat dinner” and “we have to have a place to sit in the family room.”
This week was particularly bad because she was in a mad dash to finish projects before she had to leave for school. Just when I thought everything was packed up and ready to go she decided there was time for one last project so she rushed to Wal-Mart for Hanes white v-neck t-shirts and a tie-dye kit. As luck would have it, the back to school packs have bonus t-shirts so she dyed seven of them!
This whole week all I could think about was the Trace Adkins song You’re Gonna Miss This. It was there on Tuesday as we moved her furniture and household goods from one apartment to another and it was with me as she packed her clothes and personal items for the final move yesterday. It was in my head until the van was packed to the gills and the theme from The Beverly Hillbillies replaced it!!
Anyway, we got everything down to Madison and spent the day unpacking, organizing and helping her get settled. Jim put together furniture and shelves. I put new shelf paper in the kitchen. She worked on putting new photo collages together. It wasn’t important to her at all that she couldn’t yet sleep in her bed—what was important is that she was surrounded by pictures of family and friends. To her, that’s what makes her apartment “home.”
Since she’ll graduate this year (and hopefully find a job!) she’ll probably never live with us again. As the day wound down all I could think was I’m gonna miss this. I’m gonna want this back. I really wish these years hadn’t gone by so fast.
Shelley: the Dread Pirate Rodgers says
You said, “Since she’ll graduate this year (and hopefully find a job!) she’ll probably never live with us again. ….”
Isn’t that the truth. When my oldest started college and went off to live in the dorm, I commented “You’re not going to be living at home any more, are you?” and she slowly agreed. It was tough, knowing that we’re not going to interact on a daily basis; that our formerly at-home family of 5 with all the wonderful interaction between the girls was never going to continue in that way any longer.
Sure, she called frequently and came home to visit. After she graduated, she found her job and has moved around a bit. She still calls to chat but it’s just not the same as having a full house.
Now, my other 2 girls have gone the same route; they have graduated also and are on their own. They still call frequently and return home for visits when they can.
Although my husband & I really, truly love the freedom that being empty-nesters provides, I still miss the chatter and banter and silliness that all 3 girls together provided. (ummm .. I don’t particularly miss the temper tantrums and attitude! 🙂 )
But .. all in all … this is the way it should be. You do your best to raise a thoughtful, caring, responsible person and you’ve got to let them go.
If circumstances ever changed so that they needed to live back at home, we are all open arms … but the dynamics will have changed. And truth be told, they NEED to be independent and on their own. They need to stand on their own feet and feel proud of what they are doing. They really can’t do that if they are still living with the parents.
So, I miss them but am so proud of them and treasure the times when we *do* all manage to get back together.
This post made me smile! Your daughter is the sweetest gal! I’ll bet you both keep your text fingers busy each day.
Pat in Appleton
P.S. It reminds me of bringing Kristin to college and having to stop three times on the way home to blow my nose because I was sobbing so hard! We all very quickly adjusted to her going off to college … just a new chapter in our Life-is-Good book.